Mine eyes have seen the glory of the Portland Humpin’ Hash

We will give you beer and shiggy if you pay five dollars cash

We’ll show you wangs and boobies and really itchy rash

That you will likely catch

​

Glory! Glory to the Hump Hash!

Where all the wankers stand at half-mast

And all the bimbos are so fucking crass

This is the greatest hash!

​

They say we are the training hash because we party hard

They say we drink and smoke too much and don’t know any songs

But we’re the only hash that drinks until the beer is gone

In the middle of the goddamn week

 

Glory! Glory to the Hump Hash!

Where all the wankers stand at full-mast

And all the bimbos take it up the ass

This is the greatest hash!​

 

Original lyrics written by Can't Finish, Mr. InterAm 2015 & 2025